Annie Fancypants

If It’s one thing I can’t stand it’s that dog damn one hand on the hip pose for a photograph. Dude,  you look like you’re a Bob Barker model on the showcase showdown of the Price is Right. Do you stand around your house like this? NO? So why pose with friends or family like that? Be original or something. Sheesh. Did I miss something? Am I looking at the cover of Vogue? I love you, but you look like a doof.

One little known fact about me is that I have been a die hard Duran Duran fan since 1981. Seriously. SERIOUSLY. Favorite band in the world. 

So, as I was driving today I was thinking about my life since my divorce. Life has been pretty great since I started to live a life free from control and manipulation.. Like really though, if you ONLY knew the insane amount of stuff I’ve done. lol. And that’s the best thing, you’d never suspect it. I imagine that’s true for every one of us. I suppose we all have that side alter ego that we hide away when we have to, but after midnight, it comes out in full effect.

For now, I’ll just lay here with a smile on my face and think about the past because I can’t even dream up what the future holds nor do I even want to speculate. But I can say, in an ironic twist, life is good. Guess I just haven’t realized how good it was.

Up in the fringes of forest, mid night, low light, trillions of stars in vault of heaven. Large streaks of translucent white clouds like eerie long fingers of a witch trying to scoop up the stars of the night into her pocket. I walk dizzily, my equilibrium unable to differentiate between the darkness above me and the shadows below me.

As I make my way home down the road, an amber light skews my intellection. I see the grasses on the banks and despite them being a shade of darkened yellow, my eye still sees a mint green. My eyes only see what they hunger for. And again, the amber plays tricks and colors the buds of the wildflowers a dirty tan, but my eyes turn them to pale pink as they should be.

Not a whisper of wind tonight. A pensive night waits for the early light.

Cold air is burly, my thin spirit hot, crash into nothing. I fear I have sought

You.

THIS WAS MY JAM IN 1993!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

I love the smell of fresh paint. It’s too bad painting isn’t funner. It was fun when I was a kid and I had an excuse for getting it everywhere. Don’t ask me HOW, but I managed to get it on my neck, under my chin. It’s pretty magical. It’s amazing how lazy I can be when I am painting. Bug on the wall? Paint over it! Voila! I’ve just added extra “texture”.  That’s how the pro’s do it. (Little known fact.)

I’m one of those disorganized people when it comes to doing projects. I have the bright idea of multitasking my projects, which is pretty ineffective time management.. Case and point: got rid of my fish and fishtank. That was easy, but moving the old tables, lamps and junk on top of it?  And lest ye forget cleaning the dirty skylights which have been littered by billions and billions of what I assume are caterpillar eggs. (Ew). But, I need a hose up on the second story deck for that. So, then I go out into the yard and play Indiana Jones trying to lasso throw my hose and sprayer up there without having it crashing through the sliding glass door. I did it…But, when I went to actually use the spray I noticed I killed the sprayer attachment from my Indiana Jones fail attempts at hooking the sprayer nozzle trigger thingionto the deck.  It’s broken. Sigh… and in between all of this I was painting. The GOOD NEWS is, the paint “appears” to match what I’ve got on the wall. Guess I’ll really be able to tell tomorrow when the sun is out and lighting up my hallway.  Blog about painting? I think so!

Pet peeve:  When you’re hogging down a bag of what not and then you pull the smooth move of looking at the ingredients/ nutritional info and find out you’ve pretty much just inhaled 4,878 calories and carbs. Sweet. I can feel my toes getting fatter, dude!

Bigger pet peeve: when you remember a really killer song you used to listen to or have the tape cassette of (yeah, I had the tape cassette!) and you can’t remember the artist. Well, usually after a huge waste of time it’s a fruitless search. But, I’m proud to say, I had luck tonight, and you know what- I used to LOVE this damn song and bumped the f*ck out of my blue thunders in the mustang when I lived in San Diego. Which reminds me of the time I was driving back from the  beach and my ding dong cousin  flipped her I don’t like you very much hand signal with her fingers out of the car window and I thought we were getting shot at when I heard a bunch of boom boom booms going off, Nope. It was just the phuckas throwing beer bottles at my car and hitting my car whilst I was driving and soon to be driving with white knuckles because I thought I had been shot.  She was dying from her own laughter watching me having a full throttle panic attack. Not cool, Lori. Not cool.

Somebody is cranking the shit out of their multitasking projects now! But first, I think I should tell you my dog speaks Spanish..er understands Spanish.

Little trick?? (I type #catsofinstagram to trick people into thinking I’ve posted a blog about cats..psssssssssssyche.)

When I first heard this song I thought it was from the 80’s. Surprise..it’s recent. I like it anyway. This chic has cool bangs. When I saw this video…it made me want to cut bangs again. Damnit no…

Song is cool for a little bit then it’s kind of annoying. Probably just like me.